I'M A HOBO WITH A HOME follow my phototumblr at: ruinedfall.tumblr.com (: ♥ DOCTOR/ROSE SHIPPER
CASS FOC 2012/2013 OC ♥
I couldn’t tell if you are
Reality, you seem like a mirage
In a desert when I’m craving for water
And you feed me with everything
I’ve hoped for upon a dead and fallen star
and i often wonder how different can you be
when that is the person you were just half a year ago
this is what i do to avoid doing work
all my feels
1. suck it and see (arctic monkeys)
2. tonight (fm static)
3. you and me (lifehouse)
4. ever enough (a rocket to the moon)
5. universe and u (kt tunstall)
6. iris (the goo goo dolls)
7. us (regina spektor)
8. you and i (ingrid michaelson)
9. anyone else but you (the moldy peaches)
10. free energy (free energy)
11. you make me happy (cathy heller)
12. vagabond (wolfmother)
13. she’s so lovely (scouting for girls)
14. i’m gonna be [500 miles] (the proclaimers)
15. the only exception (paramore)
16. first day of my life (bright eyes)
from tomorrow on, i will officially step down as secretary of CASS
honestly, i am pretty reluctant to step down,
not because i don’t trust the next comm,
but because i have difficulty letting go of things
i feel that CASS club is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my poly life
the past year had been nothing but extraordinary
and they were like a second family to me
it’s like previously no matter what,
i know i have CASS stuff to settle,
or that we have CASS meeting to attend, and we enjoy each other’s company so much
but now, it’s year three and everything is taken away from us
nonetheless, i am super proud of the next comm,
and i have faith in them that they will do greater things than we have
i am proud of my baby bird
i am proud of my saikang master
i am immensely proud of them
and i believe in them
i guess, that’s something i am comforted in
and i am barely breathing, struggling in the ocean, trying to reach the surface to catch my breath
but i am drowning and drowning and drowning in my own thoughts
and i can’t control them
i want to pick up the Bible and start reading it again
i can’t even remember the last time i read it
two months, three months, four months ago?
i want to restore my unyielding faith and i want to feel closer to God
and if this is the least i could do, i want to start right away
over the past few days, we really got to know everyone better
like what dexter said, our committee knew each other even before we took over
and we were bonded
but we don’t really know each other
last two days/nights showed us a lot
the past few days really reminded us why we were where we were
and it taught us many
everything we experienced brought us closer together as a club
and we are indeed a family
i couldn’t ask for a better family to be a part of
here’s to CASS Club 2012/2013
today is the day ms wong becomes mrs chua
and i saw my upper secondary classmates after two years
during the long ceremony, i told andy that i used to like him
he told me that he knew
and i realized that it really doesn’t make sense to hide how you feel
from the people that mean something to you
like revealing that i used to like andy didn’t change anything,
i was still pretty nonchalant towards it.
was it because it was over?
or was it because it really isn’t that big of a deal?
and i bought my first pair of doc marts today because:
1. my shoes were killing my feet with cuts and i kept tripping over and falling
2. they were on discount
3. superga played with my heart (yet again)
here, enjoy
“If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to and I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd, ‘cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud, and I know that you’ll use them, however you want to”
i can no longer feel any concrete emotions
i just feel a wave of sadness and anxiety sporadically,
but i know some times i can be so happy that i feel sad
because i am afraid that it will end.
am i normal? or are people also afraid of sadness after a period of happiness that they would rather be sad all the time?
